Dark Chocolate Molten Lava Cake Doesn't Make You Fat

By Kathleen Daelemans

Having worked in world class five star restaurants, spas and the field of healthy cooking and weight loss for the past 25 years I'm asked a lot of questions. The most common: Why are people in America so overweight? This inquiry is usually followed by a request for healthy recipes people can make on the fly. If only it were that easy.

The Gas Station Diet
Food is one of the reasons we're the most overweight country in the world but it's pretty far down on the list. Somewhere along the line it became acceptable to eat anywhere but the kitchen table. In a world where you can buy a dozen fresh donuts and consume a third of them waiting for your gas tank to fill up it's hard to "just say no." How on earth did it become "okay" to eat breakfast, standing on oil stained concrete, with a gas pump in one hand and a toaster tart in the other? Why is it okay to walk down the street eating pretzels larger than our heads? Who gave the green light to eat bucket chicken in the car and call that dinner with the family. Science shows we consume fewer calories when we eat sitting down in a family setting. What message does using the back seat of your car as a dining hall send to our children? Miss Manners where are you?

Broccoli…Come Out Come Out Wherever You Are...
Restaurant portions are larger than ever. We want our money's worth! We've come to expect meals out to include bread and butter, soup and salad or an appetizer, an entree, side dishes and dessert. I don't know about you but my Mom never served four course meals and bottomless baskets of warm bread and butter except on holidays.

How did we become a society whose retail food choices dictate that grocery stores devote more retail space to unhealthy foods than to healthy foods? How did we let French fries and potato chips become the most popular "side" dish served in our children's schools? When did it become okay to put candy and soda pop machines in schools and offices? It's only a matter of time before vending machines are installed in public bathrooms.

If Grilled Chicken & Salad Could Cure Obesity We'd All Be Stick Thin By Now
Exercise, easy recipes, a well stocked pantry, kitchen tools, kitchen know how and a commitment to never giving up is all it takes to lose weight and keep it off. Hats off to the lucky and devoted few who have the time to cook and exercise daily and "love" it.

I'm not one of you and no matter how many times I've signed up and paid my dues to be in your club, I'm dropout. I have to think about convincing myself to stay on track food and exercise wise every single day. It will always be this way for me or I'd be a personal trainer and own a chain of gyms and restaurants by now. I'm never going to be cured of my want to eat three Jean-Georges (Vongerichten) Molten Lave Cakes in a row. Won't happen.

For those of us who are too busy to cook, hate to cook and or are too lazy to exercise or just plain despise it but need to lose weight and eat better for health reasons, cooking every day and exercising regularly is not our ideal prescription for weight loss. Food has become USDA approved crack available without a prescription. No age limits required to eat yourself to ill health. Illegal drug use and the abuse of alcohol is socially unacceptable but eating anywhere you want in any quantity you want is socially acceptable and "normal." Who signed that into law?

Raise Your Hand If You Want to Be Fat
No one wants to be overweight. No one wants to feel bad in their clothes. No one wants to feel insecure in a bathing suit. No one wants their size to interrupt their lives or inhibit them from going to family gathering, swimming pools or shopping with thinner friends. No one wants to loathe their body so much they avoid mirrors. That was me when I was a size 22 and this is me now.

Though my work with the people and families I've had the pleasure to meet and assist, I've learned that every day stress, unhealed and or ongoing emotional pain, challenging marriages, divorce, financial stress, care-giving, chronic illness, disease, depression, strained, abusive and unhealthy relationships in the home and or workplace are of the primary reasons for ill physical and mental health and extra pounds.

It's a very personal choice whether you deal with emotional issues before, during or after you tackle eating right and exercising regularly. I'm a firm believer that the sooner you make the commitment to deal with and heal from the issues keeping you locked up in an emotional prison, the sooner you will reach your goals and have the health, wealth, life and relationships you deserve.

If you've tried to lose weight and have failed or yo-yo'd, if you feel like you will never lose weight, if you feel like you were born to be fat, if you feel helpless and hopeless, you're a candidate for operation reach-out-for-help. Do it for yourself. Do it for your spouse, do it for your children.

You are not a failure! Setbacks are an opportunity to change the rules, to rewind, revise, reinvigorate and reinvent the rules of the game. Change is fun! Think of your coping and weight loss skills as kitchen knives. So they need a little sharpening. That's what doctors and counselors are for. You don't want them to go hungry do you? There are zillions of resources available to you. Start by reaching out to the nurses in your doctor's office and network with trusted family, friends and clergy.

If you're ambivalent or afraid to ask for help with your deepest issues or you're just not sure where to start, take advantage of psychologist, author and television expert, Dr. Dale Atkins' gracious support of our online community by sending her an anonymous letter. She'll do her best to answer each and every one of you. She donates her time to our site.

Repeat after me, you are 100% in control of making it out alive. You hold the key to changing your life. You don't have to do it alone. You don't have to tackle everything at once. You positively can have the health you deserve and the body you want!

If I can get up and do this everyday, you can too! For more information, lots of fun, tons of recipes and advice in an anonymous, safe and free setting, hop on the forums and hang out with us. I'm there every single day! Get outta here already. Go chat, cook and play yourself healthy!