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You
Can Take the Weight Off!
Dear
Dr. Dale,
I am having a difficult time. I have been very intent on
losing some weight which I slowly put on over the last 10
years. For the past 3 months I have done well and am feeling
quite good about myself. I know it took a long time to put
the weight on and I realize it will take some time to take
it off.
My problem is that for the last several years I have always
told my family about my desire to take the weight off. I
talked about it a lot and everyone knew of my struggles.
By the time the holidays came around and everyone was baking
and preparing the holiday foods that our family loves and
looks forward to sharing, my attempts to stay on a diet
were out the window.
This year I feel very differently about my quest and about
my self. My parents recently moved nearby. I have not shared
my program or my success with my family. I am concerned
that if they know, they will not support me and I will fall
back into my former unhealthy patterns.
Help!
Lauren
Dear Lauren,
You
are not alone. Trying to stay true to yourself and your
goals as you stick to a more healthful eating program during
the holidays is truly a challenge. When family members appear
to be out of step with your personal desires, rather than
being encouraging, it is even more difficult. They do not
appear to take your efforts seriously and this can either
undermine or be unsupportive of your efforts.
It may not be easy but you can create a way to take
care of yourself. By keeping to the prescribed health program
you have successfully been on for the last several months
you will not only feel good about yourself, you will also
demonstrate that you are not locked into the family patterns
that you fear determine your behavior.
Give yourself small, incremental opportunities for success
each day. If you plan to be with your family for several
days, give yourself a goal each day... take a walk, eat
a healthy breakfast, read something inspirational, do not
talk about food or your personal health goals if you are
not comfortable doing so. Each day remind yourself of your
personal mission by reinforcing what is possible.
First thing in the morning, sit quietly, on your own, visualize
and then write down what you will do that morning that will
keep you on your path. Throughout the day, take a moment
and breathe deeply, inhaling the image of yourself you have
worked so hard to create. All you need to do is close your
eyes and see yourself strong and healthy, with the body
you are working on creating.
If ever the phrase "your body is a temple" could
be helpful it is after the holidays. As your family passes
around favorite foods to share, serve yourself small portions
and taste only what you want. Deciding that we are going
to take ourselves seriously often means we need an encouraging
support network. If your family is not that for you, speak
to or e-mail a friend (whom you have alerted) to help you
stay your course.
Sometimes members of families have personal interests or
investments in keeping other family members in the certain
roles. The roles may be the same ones they have assumed
for years. It may be threatening to them if someone changes
in a way that asserts their independence or challenges the
family structure. What is important is to avoid looking
to those who are unable or unwilling to be supportive for
support. Know in your own heart that you can do what you
have already proved you can do…yes, the circumstances
will be challenging but remember, there is no change without
challenge.
Happy New Year,
Dale Atkins
dratkins@kathleendaelemans.com
Dr. Dale Atkins' latest book, I'm
OK, You're My Parents: How to Overcome Guilt, Let Go of
Anger, and Create a Relationship That Works,
draws on twenty-five years of experience as a relationship
expert to present a comprehensive guide to repairing difficult
relationships, gaining control, and building a life that
you and your parents can live with for years to come.
Click
here for more info on I'm OK, You're My Parents
(Requires the free Acrobat
Reader; click the button below to download the Reader)
Other
books by Dr. Dale Atkins:
Sisters
From
the Heart: Men and Women Write Their Private Thoughts About
Their Married Lives
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