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I
had the pleasure of meeting Denise and her extraordinary
family on a recent trip. I felt like I was meeting an old
friend. We've been chatting on the forums for years,
trading recipes, insights and ideas. I'm sure you'll
find her story as inspiring as I do. And I know she'll
happily share any of her weight loss secrets with you on
the forums!
—Kathleen
A
Q & A with Weight Loss Success Story Denise Whitney
Kathleen:
Have you struggled with your weight all your life?
Denise: I was thin all my life
until I hit my late thirties. I gained 15 lb. after I got
married but during the ultra low fat nineties—which
I enthusiastically embraced, I lost the entire 15 pounds
I'd gained and then some. My family ate an extremely low
fat diet for about 3 years.
Kathleen: What caused the weight
to come back?
Denise: I lost a lot of weight
eating no fat. And my cholesterol went down. But I never
developed any skills to cope with emotional eating—and
when I had several personal tragedies in 1998—I just
ate and ate. All-or-nothing thinking hit me hard. If I had
one slice of cake, I ate the whole cake. I would eat a half
gallon of ice cream after my son went to school. I was home
alone. I was VERY depressed and for several months I tried
to drown my sorrows in Almond Fudge Ripple. It didn't
work.
Fat
Free Rebellion!
Denise: There was also an ultra
low fat backlash. For 3 years, I missed cheese and creamy
salad dressing and cake and ice cream. My family started
eating all these things again and we made up for lost time!
We ate huge bowls of ice cream and large chunks of cheese.
We had no portion control skills. We all gained weight.
I gained 40 lb..
Kathleen: How long did it take
you to turn things around?
Denise: For two years, I kept
telling myself that I just needed to get back on the low
fat wagon. Every Monday, I'd decide that I would have a
day of only baked potatoes and mustard to get started. I
beat myself up because I was unable to stick to that diet
for more than a morning.
Kathleen: What do you think
was holding you back?
Denise: A large part of the problem was that I failed to
recognize just how severely depressed I was. It was very
unrealistic to start a diet while I was under so much stress
and depressed. The depression made me lose perspective and
contributed to my all-or-nothing thinking.
Kathleen: Tell me about the
depression.
Denise: I wasn't able
to get out of bed and take a shower many mornings, yet I
would beat myself up because I wasn't able to return
to my ultra disciplined, restrictive diet and get back on
the wagon.
I beat myself up because I couldn't get the house clean.
If I couldn't clean the kitchen for three hours straight,
I did nothing. We always had a sink full of dirty
dishes. Many days, dishes were piled up past the faucet
and just getting a drink of water was a challenge. I was
weighed down by the depression and wanting to do the job
perfectly. It was an overwhelming task to begin to
clean the kitchen at 5pm and then cook dinner, so
we ate a lot of fast food. The depression left me exhausted.
In the fall of 2000, I started working part time teaching
after school band. Less time at home and the chaos that
was our kitchen made it impossible to cook or even prepare
a bowl of cereal some mornings. We ate fast food for breakfast,
lunch and dinner some days. We ate fast food at least ten
times a week. I gained another 15 pounds. I still feel guilty
about the amount of fast food my son ate. My son was a 4
foot tall 3rd grader who ballooned to over 120 lb.—obese
for a child.
My
30 something body didn't match my 20 something view
of myself
Kathleen: What was your turning
point?
Denise: Fortunately, by 2001
I had gotten a handle on the depression. I had a job that
I loved. I was in a good place emotionally to start losing
weight. The turning point came when a friend invited us
to go water skiing. I had skied as a kid and a young adult.
I considered myself overweight but thought that I was still
strong, healthy and fit. I was bobbing in the water trying
to put on my skis. My stomach was in the way and I was having
trouble reaching my own feet. I was worn out attempting
to put the skis on.
I struggled to get up on the skis and was unsuccessful after
several tries. I climbed back in the boat defeated. I tried
one last time later in the afternoon. After several more
tries, I finally got up and skied 100 yards and tossed the
rope. I hauled myself back into the boat, exhausted. I hadn't
realized how out of shape I had gotten. My cholesterol had
crept back up to about 225. My BMI was 30. For the first
time in my life, I developed asthma. I later learned there's
a strong link between obesity and asthma. I was not as fit.
I was not in good health. And I was very worried about my
son's health.
Kathleen: How did you channel
your pain and frustration into results?
Denise: I joined ediets.com
on a whim right after that ski trip. I saw a pop-up ad that
said "Lose 10 lb. by August!" I filled in the
free profile and since I'd long since stopped weighing myself,
I guessed my weight to be about 150 pounds. When I got on
the scale, my real weight was 160!
Ediets
gave me very first lesson in portion control. I loved the
support boards. I lost 15 lb. that summer and had a fantastic
water skiing vacation with my family. But all or nothing"
thinking reared its ugly head and prevented me from staying
on the plan for longer than 3 months. I denied myself dessert
and never went off track and never ate things
like French fries or onion rings. I posted on a board with
very competitive women and I pushed myself to exercise for
an hour or two every single day.
When school started and I went back to work, I found it
difficult to continue my lengthy exercise routine. Being
an "all or nothing" kind of person, of course,
I did nothing! I was also becoming resentful of my self
imposed restricted eating plan.
Finding
peace in a comfort food nation
Kathleen: How did you find
the courage to keep going?
Denise: September 11, 2001
hit. The entire United States lost its motivation to diet
and eat well. Magazines printed recipes for cheesy, pasta
comfort foods. Portion control seemed a trivial concern
compared to the magnitude of the tragedy. I drifted away
from my support group on the Ediets boards and gained back
5 lb.. I really did not want to gain back all the weight
that I had lost, but I couldn't stand the thought of dieting
one more day. I decided that I would maintain my weight
and that would be accomplishment enough.
For almost two and a half years, I not only maintained my
weight, but I lost another 5 or 6 lb.. Most people would
not consider this a weight loss success, but I did. Just
a 10% weight loss made a big difference in my health. I
no longer needed an asthma inhaler. My cholesterol crept
back into the normal range. Hot flashes and night sweats
disappeared. I read an article on the Weight Watcher's website
that struck a cord, A Healthy Diet May Spell Menopause
Relief. The article quoted a study in the Journal
of Obstetrics and Gynecology that cited how obesity
may predispose women to hot flashes during menopause. Women
in the study with a body mass index (BMI) greater than 30
were more likely to report moderate to severe hot flashes
than those who had a BMI less than 25. I didn't lose much
weight during this time, but I was freeing myself from the
confines of all-or-nothing thinking.
A
stove! I knew we had one!
Kathleen: How did you make
the transition from eating every meal out to cooking at
home again?
Denise: I joined www.flylady.net
and developed a routine to cope with the disaster that was
our kitchen and shed some more all-or-nothing thinking bad
habits. Getting the dishes done doesn't have to include
completely cleaning the entire refrigerator and scrubbing
the grout with a toothbrush. With the kitchen functional,
we were able to significantly cut back on our fast food
consumption.
Kathleen: What did you do for
exercise?
Denise: My sister, mom and
I all rediscovered snow skiing. I taught my son to ski.
Skiing became a huge motivation for maintaining my weight
and for getting healthier. I bought a season ski pass with
the money we saved by cooking at home.
Kathleen: What do you feel
most proud of?
Denise: Best of all? My son was slowly getting thinner.
His pediatrician recommended that he stay the same weight
and that he would grow into a healthy weight. We learned
new habits together. He lost about 3 lb. a year and grew
14 inches. He is now a happy, healthy (and thin!) teenager.
Kathleen: I have to ask, what
do you like most about Cooking
Thin and how did you find us?
Denise: We started watching Cooking Thin during the
summer of 2003. The show imparts a lot of common sense,
change your life tips. It was so refreshing to see a cooking
show where the chef actually measured the olive oil with
a teaspoon. We watched you prepare and eat fruits and vegetables
and pasta and chicken. We watched you eat cake. We watched
you clean out pantries. Every week, I hear you say, "baby
steps" over and over. I got to see a real life moderation
role model. I get meal ideas and portion control ideas from
the show, but my favorite part of it all is that I learned
how to make healthy food taste great!!
Kathleen: I know the answer
because we chat all the time, but when did you start posting
on the forums
at chefkathleen.com?
Denise: I began posting on
the fan
forum in December, 2003 and had my most successful weight
loss year ever. I initially wanted to lose just another
5 or 10 pounds, but 11 months later, I had lost over 20
lb. and reached my goal weight.
Kathleen: You look absolutely
beautiful, Denise, and have accomplished so much. How did
the boards make a difference for you?
Denise: The support and encouragement
and accountability on the board made a tremendous difference.
I finally developed a consistent exercise routine that has
been working for me for many months now. I was challenged
to continue to reduce the amount of fast food we eat. I've
learned ways to cope with stress which are more effective
than chocolate. It has been great to spend time each day
with kindred spirits who are looking for health and happiness
and long term weight loss rather than the quick fix offered
by all or nothing diets.
Kathleen: Any regrets?
Denise: I really regret that
I didn't get professional help. I regret gaining the weight,
but even more than the weight, I regret that I (and my family)
lost two years that could have been happier.
Kathleen: Looking back, what
do you see as your greatest accomplishment?
Denise: The past four and a half years have been a tremendous
journey. It took me 40 months to lose 37 pounds. Months
and years of that time were spent maintaining and holding
onto small weight losses of only 2 or 5 or 10 lb.. I don't
think that people are given enough credit for maintaining
a weight loss. It is so easy to gain weight in our culture.
It really is an accomplishment to stop the upward creep.
I didn't lose my weight fast, but I learned so many valuable
lessons along the way. I made mistakes along the way and
I learned what doesn't work for me and my family. I learned
how to be flexible. I learned that it's okay to change and
adapt my food and exercise programs as my life changes.
Goodbye to 37 lb.. And best of all, Goodbye all-or-nothing-thinking!
Kathleen: You may never know
how many people's lives you've touched and how
many people will draw on your courage to find their own
but rest assured you've inspired many. Thank you for
sharing your story, Denise.
If you'd like to submit your weight loss success story,
click
here.
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